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Ebopassionately curious June 13 Cops in the yardwhat's the deal with cops never being at the right place and always showing up for silly reasons. like my house was broken into, no help from them. but Seaton leaves me a letter in my backyard and they not only show up but they act like it's the end of the world and threaten to arrest him, for what i'm not too sure. silly cops. that's my rant for now. i guess the moral of the story is don't try to do nice things for your friends because someone might think you're causing ruckus and call the cops on you. non sense! May 16 small token of vast importanceBefore I left to go to Israel, I got this idea in my head that I should take something with me for the specific purpose of leaving it there. So that when my 10 days was up and I had to come back home, there'd still be something there of mine that I left behind. I thought about it and I guess I could of left anything there. But I just couldn't think of something that had any significance, so I didn't take anything but I sort of wish I had. Now I'm back home and I was thinking about how I missed my chance to carry out that little act which would mean so much to me. And the more I thought, the more I realized, I did leave something behind in Israel and I took something from there as well. Because you see, as cheesy as it sounds, I found myself there, and I left behind my heart. May 11 Back on TrackIsrael has been #1 on my list for over 2 years now. It should've been my first trip. But sometimes you get side tracked. And I definately went off course. But Israel marks for me getting back on track. It's a landmark moment in my life. I might not be sprinting yet, but at least I'm in the right direction. I dare you, watch and see. Everyday I'm gonna be a little bit closer to my mark. that's all May 10 Yaase ShalomThis is what I think about Israel. There is sooo much going on there, naturally and spiritually, I don't think I could ever understand it all.
But for me, and what the trip meant...I think there's two parts to it. What it means for me now and what it means for me later. What I learned while I was there, was to have compassion for others, to be more independent, that the ball is always in my court and I can affect my own change. I was also given a word which I think links directly to my film career and the types of films I will do. I have also learned a lot about authority and that I need to submit to it.
As for the later part, well this trip will obviously effect my second trip to Israel which will be later on. And...well I think everyone who was there was there for a reason. And that reason might come into play later on. You never know how or when God is gonna move. Just be ready. April 12 Cobra Libra or whatever it wasIt's Money Money in disguise. Tonight I got to see "Money Money" play at Durham College oh ya and some other bands too, but they aren't important (as I'm still wearing Katie's Rides Again t-shirt). It was an awesome show. If you ever get a chance to see them than jump on it. And check out my pics.
on the way to the concert, I'm driving with Katie and she yells out. OH MY GOODNESS I THOUGHT I JUST SAW A POWER RANGER!!!!! I'm confused so I'm like "WHAT???" and she's like "Oh, nope it was just a biker" April 11 not so tinythis is for all my regular visiters. You can now find me not only at the new Oshawa Mitchell's Family Books but also at the formerly Testament, Whitby Mitchell's Family Books. YepI'm doin do that's right double time, truly rawkin out the Christian market. If anyone has any concerts or events where you think people could be blessed with having the opportunity to buy new cds, books and Bibles, let me know. I'm gonna be heading up the May 2006 Convention table and I'm looking for more fun stuff to get the store involved in. If you need a sponsor, let me know or if you've got any hot christian merchandize you wanna get on the market, talk to me...of course I can't make any promises, but I'll see what I can do. And keep your eyes peeled for Store based events, youth nights, band signings, visits from your favourite authors and sales sales sales. So many possibilities. I'm gonna be busy! April 04 a parrallel of sortsHidden under its familiar downward current, the waterfall cried for me. The trickle of life source running along my skin, like tears, begins its journey when it hits the ground and streams towards the banks where it will find growth. Shedding of sorrow illuminates hopeful recreations. Blood hits the ground and covenants commence. Hearts are broken to make promises stronger. Water rushes, time flees, my soul wades in the whirlwind waiting for that single drop to tell me that you're here. I dive but I can't swim. Abandonment. And all for the rush of waves against my sides. Hands straight up, I reach to you but instead I plunge. With you still above me, unexpectant, I drown. March 31 She Won't Be Back...(Tiny is the terminator!)Alright here it is. I am, at this moment, heading out the door for my very LAST DAY of employment at the one, the only Tiny's Christian Bookstore LTD. My beautiful second home at 375 Bond St. W will never be the same. Am I leaving? Surprizingly no. No my friends, it is someone else that is leaving that we will all miss very much. Yes you guessed it. Tiny is retiring. This part isn't really my news to tell. So all I will say is that I will still be at "Tiny's", in fact everything will carry on as normal... for now. But there will be one less smiling face and no one to give me candies. The funny part is that Tiny would fired me, jokingly, on a near weekly bases. And now she really is. I feel like it's still all one big joke. Like we'll show up tomorrow morning (April Fools) and she'll tell us she was just kidding this whole time. But if it was a joke I wouldn'tve gotten a letter stating
Dear Erin,
This letter is to confirm the notification of the termination of your employment to be effective March 31, 2006. Thank you for the time you have served as an employee with the business...........
So there you have it. Don't worry I'm still gonna be employed under the new business/owner/company, I can't say who or what or anything about that. There's still gonna be a lot going on there. A lot of which is so confidential that I don't even know what it is yet. Don't expect anything to have changed if you happen to come in next week but keep your eyes peeled in the next month or two. And keep Tiny in your prayers, she's the greatest. And I'm kinda jealous I wanna retire! March 30 Top f(x) Reasons Termination is coolf(1) Every ending brings new beginnings
f(2) Sometimes the people that you love, just need the R&R
f(3) Extra checks
f(4) New paint jobs
f(5) Cake! everybody loves good bye cake.
f(6) the feeling of that last week and not having to do ANYTHING because doing something would be pointless at this point in the game when soon it won't matter anyway! It's kinda like a vacation.
f(7) Bringing everything to a close can make for a lot of phone calls which makes the days go by faster.
f(8) I'm routting for free stuff.
f(9) In this case, no one's actually going anywhere so we won't have to miss anyone.
MY NEXT BLOG WILL TELL YOU WHAT MY TERMINATION IS ABOUT IF YOU HAVEN"T ALREADY FIGURED IT OUT so STAY TOONED March 29 Top F(x) Things I don't like about springf(1) All of a sudden just because the weather is nice, every customer in the world thinks there's nothing else to talk about. And they say stupid things like "did you see how nice it is outside?" and I just wanna say, "for the 80th time today yes I have seen how nice it is out today, thanks for rubbing it in my face that I'm stuck inside working!!!!"
f(2) Bikers are back on the road
f(3) Annoying jr. highers have awoken from their hibernation of playing xbox and are getting in my way on their bikes and skateboards again.
f(4) People who think they're cool because their cars are convertable. It's like they think they're exempt from traffic laws because they "look cool"
f(5) all the nice days fall on my work days, and my days off are the rare cold nippley march days where no one wants to be outside.
f(6) IT'S NOT WARM ENOUGH FOR SHORTS YET!!! you people who are wearing shorts already, you just look stupid!!!
March 27 Top f(x) listsOK so I'm gonna start some Top lists but Top ten is so already been done. SO mine are top f(x) meaning I have no clue what number my list is out of. I'll make it up as I go along and stop when I feel like it. haha here we go
Top F(x) Reasons why Boys are Creepy
f(1) They come to Second Cup and sit down with their lattes and watch us as if they're at a show.
f(2) Every time I put a new pic on my display, half a dozen guys want it sent to them.
f(3) "No" doesn't seem to be in their vocabulary, either that or they all just have selective hearing.
f(4) They always smell!!!
f(5) You can always feel their eyes on your when they're starring at your bum.
This just in f(6) They ask me.... and each other "Ahhr yew nekked?" ya that one's for you Gio, but don't worry you're not creepy... all the time
This just in too f(7)
The PK!! says: he wants you
Tiger Lily - like the morning needs the sun says: i think he has a wife
The PK!! says: like i said....
The PK!! says: haha
Tiger Lily - like the morning needs the sun says: oh dear
The PK!! says: but he can't have you
Tiger Lily - like the morning needs the sun says: hell no
The PK!! says: CUZ YOU'RE MINE!!!!!!! i mean uh... *cough* excuse me
March 25 Written under bunksSome of the actually names were changed for the writting of this blog to spare the identities of the people involved...but not really.
While at Youth camp, a very strange incident occurred. We wrote a song about it.
You all know, this song is about you
You and you and yes you Dave too.
Flying chicken burrowing groundhog,
you all know him, he works at the gap,
But then again so does everyone else.
He's not a lifeguard but he gives free lessons,
He stays strong and Heidi stays free.
That girl over there*
Has something in her hair
but she doesn't know it's there,
That's too revealing right now
Let's try to keep this song PG13
That goes for all you Pentecostal players out there.
la dee da dee da. And so it goes on. The rest has to do with 24/7 Denny's and needing a hair cut and maybe a nose job. I can't remember exactly, it's probably better that I don't.
March 22 So what IS in a name anyway?What's the deal with pancakes?
NO but really what's the deal with titles? Why do people feel they have to be labelled. I'm labelled as crazy and as christian and that's about all the stereotyping I can stand. It's not even stereotyping that bothers me but titles. Like so what if you're CEO. If I was president and someone tried to call me Mrs. President, I'd be like first of all, who are you talking to and secondly, what kind of a stupid last name is President.
But mainly I guess the titles that bug me the most are boyfriend girlfriend titles. When I'm married I really don't think I'm gonna change my last name, big whoopitdo! And I've been in too many relationships where we aren't dating but we act like we are. Oops! Everyone tries to call us BF/GF. And they won't listen, why do you need to have a title? And on the other hand I've seen too many couples that are official but they don't act like they're together. So whatever....
When I was like 7, I had a best friend who I knew from church and my best friend from school. But I never felt right about having two best friends, I mean you can't have two bests! So one I called my bestest buddy, which was more suitting to our silly humour anyways. BUT STILL why did I need those titles in the first place!!!! why!!! I have no clue. but that's my rant for day. This goes out to everyone that's important to me. I love you all, if you're my favourite person, enjoy that cuz it'll last a week. sorry. and everyone else has a special place but I can't tell you what that place is because I don't want to label it. And if I do label it, it's all jokes. now top ten lists are another story... BUT anyways, stop with the titles! If you love someone, show them and that's all. and now it's time for silly songs with ErinSandwiches, everyone loves them sandwiches.
Old Hiram's goat
Was a feeling fine Ate three red shirts Right off of the line Mrs. Murphy the cook She beat him black And tied him to The railroad track Singin' 'au revoir" But not 'Good-bye' 'Cause that old goat Wasn't doomed to die He coughed and coughed In mortal pain Coughed up those shirts and flagged the train We used to sing this in Acting class... some kinda exercise to learn and repeat songs. Yes, These are good times, ha ha ha ha ha. March 14 frailJust disregard me. Everything I say means nothing. Everything I do is an act. As true as I may be in a moment, those things fade when the moment passes. Even what I'm saying now, has no truth to it at all. Warning, do not take me seriously, I will deceive you into thinking that I'm something I'm not, or something at all. the best: defined. part 1To the best.
For a girl who is always naming random newcomers as her "favourite person", I sure know how to pick "the best". My world is full of strangers, people that I call friends after merely an introduction, people who come and go and could care less. I must of lost more friends by the time I was 14 than most people will have in a lifetime.
I suppose I have wronged you in that I never expected us to keep any sort of contact for this long. I am so accustomed to having friends fade away, that I gave us a year, tops. I literally thought, once you left for university, I would never see or hear from you again. And when you kept coming back, I didn't know what to do. And well me not knowing what to do is never a good thing, hence the heartache I have caused us both.
I guess what I'm saying is that the best is defined by being the exact opposite of everything I am. The best is loyal, logical, loving. YOU'RE STILL HERE! I don't get it! I'm not complaining, I'm baffled. If ever I have felt confused gratitute, it's now. I want to say thank you for your undying faithfulness, but I can't get the words out, instead I just look up at you from my lowest points with a raised eyebrow. You have the power to bring me up from my worst situations but you don't know it's in you and so you sit on the fence and keep me company as I wade in the mud. And yet you are still the best, because at least you will keep me company.
Maybe I need a new definition. Maybe I need to raise the standard. Will you meet that standard? If you would, nothing would stop me from loving you completely, with all I am. Pity all my standards are in code. As is this definition. But regardless, you will always be the best, even when you really aren't at all. We've been through too much for you to be any less. March 04 A kamikaze called Undestined LoveI wish you could see the way that you destroy me.
I wait up for you, only to be disappointed in a new way every time.
Why on earth do I submit myself to such heart ache?
Your greatest attempts to be sincere, are just that, attempts.
Before now those attempts held weight in comparison to my indecisiveness
But now, they are mist that dissipates in the presence of my persistant devotion,
Which may be too late and that's my own fault,
But that doesn't make me any more deserving of this demise.
If only I could just stop caring like you can.
If only I could turn off my heart at whim.
But I have given my heart to someone who doesn't want it,
Someone whom I first rejected,
And through our emotion's persecution, he has proven himself worthy,
Worthy and unwanting.
In my heart's attempt to protect itself it has created its own trap.
I created this.
And I can't let go of it.
Why can't you just hate me?
I've wronged you so many times.
But whether it's loyality or a fear to move on to something unfamiliar,
You're still here.
And I love you all the more.
And for this I hate you all the more.
Give me my heart back,
For until it is returned, you will, even knowingly
continue to cause my destruction.
One day, when you are gone, a sprout will grow from the ashes,
But not today, not tonight
Tonight you slumber in your oblivious malice.
Tonight I wait to be freed. March 03 Portrait of an ApologyI don't know what it is about these Jars songs that I keep coming back to, but here's another one.
Look what I've done This picture I've painted It looks like my heart Or what still remains Convinced of the weight Your interpretations Are not what I see I wish they could be I remember it much redder I remember it much brighter Can you stay for a while Try to imagine this Could you be for a while I can't remember it Could you fall for a while I can't escape from this I'll try to explain The way that the frame Doesn't quite fit the image Or surround the edge It stands on display What do you see? Behold all the new grey What's become of the old me I remember it much redder I remember it much brighter Calling, crying, ashamed of what I am not Really failing, falling into this cage and I can't escape I can't escape Look what I've done This picture I've painted Doesn't quite fit Or surround the edge I remember it much redder I can't escape, I can't escape, I can't escape March 01 see picsMy newest photo album is supposed to be titled, "Proof that I'm Hardcore" but it won't let me change the title. This isn't the first time myspace has gone mental on me. anyone else having any problems with theirs? February 28 And now for some unrhyming poetryInside I scream for lack of inconsistency
Knowing that nothing can be,
That hasn't already been.
Creation is engraved in the air.
It holds its place in the archives of time,
And nothing can surpass it.
All proceedings were known before they transpired,
By the One who spoke them to be.
When their time has come
All things disappear like the purity in a child.
Knowing that only love can melt a hardened heart,
But even this, in the attempts of human hands,
none stand triumphant.
When the paths once trod
Revisit you,
Like a dream sent to haunt,
Look to a love that is beyond the imaginable.
For creation has limits
But love conquors even these.
-Author Unknown February 26 And we're backFor those of you that were concerned, I'm not dead! *knock on wood* haha I don't think that applies. but anyway, I'm pretty bruised, but what else is new. haha. I came to the realization today that I don't remember anything since the surgery. I was telling someone that after I woke up from the anesthetics, that the nurse was pushing me out the door. I've told this story a good few times since Tuesday. but today my brother happened to be there and he was like, "YOU SAT THERE FOR 30 mins!!!! YOU DRANK AN ENTIRE GLASS OF JUICE!" I'm like "no, I just woke up and went home". He's like "no, you sat there asked a million questions, answered a phone call on your cell phone and then finally they made you leave or else you'd stay there all day!"
And then I was saying something about coming home and watching a certain movie and then falling asleep and my mom was like "no you didn't, you went to Bryan's, you didn't watch the movie until Thursday!" So apparently a good 2 or 3 days are all jumbled in my memory. CRAZY eh? February 23 Trucefaultless in the eyes that i could never open wide enough to see me through. much to my surprise it never orbits around the things you should hold me to. and i stand here wondering. and i am waiting. my ear is twisted in all the thoughts. a glimpse of truce just because. and it's always almost never close. i close my eyes to hide the distance. enchanted by the face of peace and when it turns to sunken eyes and waterfalls. unsatisfied with simple things entangled in the chords i can't take any calls. waiting around for some kind of peace. hoping you'll find me in my needs. my ear is twisted in all the thoughts. a glimpse of truce just because. and it's always almost never close. i close my eyes to hide the distance. February 18 Scoring goals and stealing momentsSome moments happen and it's like they never did. Scoring a goal in hockey is one of those moments. When the ball came near me, it was as if time slowed down and my arms knew exactly what to do. I don't even think I remember the ball going in, if I do, then no more than a dream of a dream. There were hugs and joys shared and then the intensity of the game afterwards continued.
A friend of mine, was upset before because I didn't have a comment for him. I wasn't inspired to put one, but now I am. Never steal someone's moment. If you're with someone when the lights are turned off and the engines are warming to leave, never forget that that is still part of the moment. When an event is over you can stop and reflect and just take in what happened. Don't take that away from someone by being petty. Actually don't be petty in general. If a friend wants to drive an extra block out of the way, enjoy the ride. If something you were using is taken and it's not really a big deal, don't act like it is a big deal. Live and make the best of everything, learn to enjoy even the little things, or the things that you don't want to do. Better yet, do something you've never done before, just for the sake of doing it.
Do little things in life just for the heck of it. Finger paint, step barefoot in some mud, get in your car and drive to a neighbourhood you've never been and then park and go for a nice little stroll!!!!!
And always play the game, whether you score or just get assists, it's the game that's fun. Scoring is just a moment that is too soon stolen. February 16 creative in my sleepLast night I slept for... I'm not really sure but I think it was close to 15 hours. I just passed out around 8 or 9 at night, then I woke up for a while at like 11(night still) and chatted for a few mins and then went back to bed and didn't wake up again until 11 this morning. While I was sleeping, I dreamt that I went back to my elementary school and just sat outside one of the portables. Out of nowhere there was 4 people from my old college there and they were writing a song. Well I told them I wanted to learn it. And in my dream I wrote out the lyrics and started singing along with them and harmonizing even though I didn't know how it went (which isn't hard). I woke up singing the song, but like all good dreams, the more awake you become, the more you forget them. And now I can't remember how it goes. But I can remember looking at the written out lyrics in my dream. There was something about fading and falling. But that doesn't really help I guess. I almost wanna go back to bed to see if I can remember it. Surprizingly I'm still tired even after sleeping that long. February 08 People who = yay!I just wanna take a few minutes and mention a whole bunch of people that I really appreciate. sorry if your name's not here, don't be offended. this is just kinda random and mainly has to do with people that have been in my day today or my thoughts.
#1 of course is Katie. She's like my sister. We always have the funnest adventures of randomness and chaos and I know she'd stick her neck on the line for me if I needed it.
(I love you girl, but cookie dough ice cream is not better than cookie dough itself.)
#2 is Jay. but you've been kinda blah lately which I can understand with working at Sobey's. Maybe we need some more concerts, think about it, Nashville, the Kool Haus, Convention and the yellow caution tape... the list goes on.
#3 is Andy. Lately, he's been the one person that I can be myself around and that's like the nicest thing someone could do.... even though he doesn't know he's doing it. Don't get me wrong, I'm always myself. But Andy brings out the Erin of 4 years ago, and anyone who's known me for that long should know the difference. And if someone could put up with me trying to buy jeans and trying to make the salesperson pick them for me, then they can handle my craziness. haha
#4 is Alex. I miss you man. Like really miss you. I don't really know what else to say. We need to go to Stradford again, I could use a whole day of Alex. Believe it or not, even through all the jokes and harrassment, you have this way of just making everything better.
#5 is my Sis. I haven't been home for a while because of work so I'm actually starting to miss you.
#6 is Becca. I'm not like Katie and tell random people how much I love you, but hey I drove all the way to see you, that counts for something. I love your randomness and creativity. haha Katie thought your dog was a floormat!!!
#7 is my parents for waiting in emerg with me for 5 hours to see if my thumb was broken (it's not, just ridiculously sprained)
#8 is Jeff because he said he wouldn't talk to me until I added him to this list.
That's all for now. not that I don't appreciate everyone else but I'm getting tired and it's hard to type without a thumb. I hope everyone read this, except my parents I guess. Know that it is truly heart felt and genuine. |
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